


Breaking Through the Ice

by Elleth



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Character Study, Drabble Sequence, F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February 2020, Fix-It, Found Family, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mythology References, New Chapter Posted Daily, Rescue Mission, Resurrection, Soulmates, Tuonela, dream-sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 101
Words: 10,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22513447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elleth/pseuds/Elleth
Summary: Once in Tuonela, Sigrun is willing to put her own life on the line in order to buy Tuuri another chance, even if success means upending everything she's ever known and taken for granted.
Relationships: Tuuri Hotakainen/Sigrun Eide
Comments: 35
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**~ 1 ~**

Sigrun finds her. There's blood from Sigrun's knuckles on the ice, the ice fracturing under her fists and her blade, and the monster swan that she has to fight. She wins, just barely, breathing out words of gratitude for Reynir's runes, and Onni's protective amulet stitched onto her coat in red thread.

The point is, she is still breathing, and the monster swan bows her long neck as she morphs back into a normal swan. It's creepy as all hell. Sigrun will never look at swans the same way again. At least trolls are always trolls.

But she's found Tuuri.


	2. Chapter 2

**~ 2 ~**

The problem: Tuuri lies on the ice like a corpse. She _is_ a corpse, again - still - for all that Sigrun knows, good for a new pyre and nothing else, that's all the good coming to Tuonela has done them. It gave Sigrun bruises and bloody knuckles, and a new way to look at fucking swans. She could have gotten all those in the living world, the heartbreak included. 

Except not that depth of heartbreak. It's like there's shards of ice piercing outward from her heart. 

She came all this way, and now? She slumps, the stars unmoving overhead.


	3. Chapter 3

**~ 3 ~**

There's no telling the time. There's no saying if there is time at all down here, Sigrun thinks dimly at one point. She tells herself to get up and go, but her legs have gone numb on the ice and with the seep of cold water. Just like the night they found Tuuri after she drowned, when Lalli sang her to the surface of the sea, after Sigrun screamed at it to give Tuuri up. 

She wouldn't even know who to scream at, here. Death is a fact of life, and she's ready to concede that when the swan returns.


	4. Chapter 4

**~ 4 ~**

"You see that it is no good? _Good_." The swan's beak clicks, and Sigrun wants to wring her neck for the self-satisfied tone. "But you have more luck than brains. Her grandmother - " and here the swan clicks her bill again in rising irritation; her bloody bones shift, parting her feathers, briefly - "wrestled the kade that took her, and allowed me to dispose of it. My superiors will be pleased. I will let you have this one, so you _leave_."

Sigrun hears the hate in that word, but she could kiss the fucking bird that moment. "How?"


	5. Chapter 5

**~ 5 ~**

"It comes with a catch," the swan warns. 

"Anything," Sigrun replies, captain and lover agreeing. No honour in her life ever again, otherwise. No Tuuri in her life ever again, otherwise. It's simple, really. 

"She is dead, for all intents and purposes. I can recall two of her souls - the ones that make her her, but her life force vanished with her death. She will need part of yours." 

Sigrun knows a little of Finnish souls, that they're sort-of similar to the ones the Norse gods give, but not enough.

Well then. That's never stopped her before. 

"Let's do it."


	6. Chapter 6

**~ 6 ~**

Something zips across the sky like an errant shooting star, but it turns out to be a small white-shining bird, round as it can be and with a feather-tuft on its head. It could fit into Sigrun's open palm. The bird lands on Tuuri's chest, uncertain as it regards Sigrun with beady eyes that hold Tuuri's undeniable twinkle, and her heart starts mending. 

The swan passes a wing over the bird, and it dissipates into a cloud of glowing mist passing into Tuuri's nose and mouth like smoke. She has her souls again. 

Sigrun feels herself shiver. Her turn now.


	7. Chapter 7

**~ 7 ~**

She kneels by Tuuri's side and pulls her into a cradle-hold against her. Monster-fighting she can do. Meddling with gods and spirits is the job of mages, and meddling with Finnish gods and spirits is the work of Finnish mages. She is neither, but she's in love with a fuzzy little Finn, and she's come this far. 

She's strong, everyone's always told her that. More than that, she knows it in herself. 

She's also terrified. 

"Take off your amulets," the swan says. "All of them."

 _Crap. It's a trap, it's gotta be a trap, it's_ \- the only way.


	8. Chapter 8

**~ 8 ~**

Sigrun yanks off the belt with Reynir's runes, and she pulls off the coat with Onni's symbol, leaving them lying on the ice. 

The swan waddles behind her. Sigrun is glad she doesn't see her, keeping her eyes on Tuuri's face, no longer vacantly empty but peaceful, as if she's waiting to wake - she is, Sigrun's going to have to believe that - and brushes strands of hair off her forehead, trying to tease them together into the fuzzy hair-poof when -

\- her soul and self and everything are ripped in half like a sheet of paper. 

And then a black nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

**~ 9 ~**

Sigrun's woken up from plenty of near-death situations, and she doesn't have enough fingers to count all the worst of them. 

This one spirals to the top immediately, the moment her awareness swims back out of the blackness and into herself. Her body feels… heavy, as if she doesn't have the strength to move her limbs. 

Breathing is a chore, although she can tell there's nothing wrong with her lungs. 

There's an impossible tiredness and a jagged edge of pain deeper than bone-deep. Soul-deep. 

But beyond the pain - a tug, a flutter. Someone else's heartbeat. Breath.

_Tuuri. Alive._


	10. Chapter 10

**~ 10 ~**

Sigrun savours the moment by lying still and letting tears flow from her eyes freely. She stares at the dome of the night sky of Tuonela overhead: The stars are really pretty beautiful. In her tears, they shimmer and twinkle. 

It's effortless to time her heartbeat with Tuuri's, and reassuring. The up-and-down of her chest. Slowly, warmth creeps back into Sigrun. Even if lifting her head to look at Tuuri is so much effort that she wants to pass out again, she can move. 

The sight makes it worth it. It's only a glimpse, but Tuuri's eyes are open, watching her.


	11. Chapter 11

**~ 11 ~**

So worth it, even though Sigrun does black out the second she relaxes. Consciousness still struggling to resurface, she notices the swan nearby, but she's not worried now. She made the right decision. 

Next Sigrun wakes, the earth-smell of wet moss is thick in her nostrils, there are leafy branches against a grey sky, and there's a blanket over her. Nearby, her team's voices. She anxiously casts her senses out for Tuuri, and there she is, next to her, calmly asleep. Tuuri's fingers are curled into her own palm a fraction away from Sigrun's outstretched hand. 

They made it back.


	12. Chapter 12

**~ 12 ~**

Even so, Sigrun still hurts fiercely, and it's not something she thinks anyone can help with. Rest seems the best option. Tuuri has half her living-soul now, after all. They're bound to need recovery time. She sighs, because being awake without being able to do anything is boring, and Sigrun decides that sleeping this off is maybe the better option. 

Sleep comes quick. In her dream, she's on a pier near a boathouse on a Finnish lake, and there's Tuuri with her back to Sigrun, dipping her bare feet in the water. Sigrun recognizes the place: Toivosaari, Tuuri's home island.


	13. Chapter 13

**~ 13 ~**

Next Sigrun recognizes that this isn't her dream at all - it's Tuuri's, and not a good dream. How she knows? She can tell, maybe by the sense that she is trespassing into something private. 

Nothing is wrong with the island, the sunshine or the water-lilies, but a black cloud of grief swirls thick around Tuuri, plain as day to Sigrun's senses. Tuuri doesn't turn around, or acknowledge her presence at all, even when Sigrun walks down the length of the pier - growing impossibly longer under her feet - and finally, after running to reach her, puts a hand on Tuuri's shoulder.


	14. Chapter 14

**~ 14 ~**

"You could have _asked me_ , you know?" Tuuri says after silence stretches long into the touch. Her voice is low, her posture rigid, her shoulders hunched as if she wants to shrug off Sigrun's hand, even though she doesn't. "I was… being dead wasn't so bad, actually…" 

She still hasn't looked up, staring at the water. A tear runs down Tuuri's cheek, splashes onto Sigrun's hand. She sniffles. "Did you even think about how you could have lost yourself down there?!" 

"Hard not to," Sigrun replies. "Down there, with that swan tearing my soul apart for you."

Silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a chapter for V-Day, and rough things ahead from here on in, but things will look up eventually.


	15. Chapter 15

**~ 15 ~**

"You didn't know." Sigrun's mouth is dry. "Yeah. I told her to do it to have you back. I think that's why I'm here, we're… connected now, like Emil says he and Lalli are. Is that so bad?" 

Tuuri seems to sag in on herself. "Connected?" Now she shrugs her shoulder to get Sigrun's hand off. "But… Lalli is immune. Emil is immune. _I'm_ not. You have to wake up. Mikkel should have testing kits with him. Why couldn't you just _think_?!" 

The sky darkens rapidly, and the water of the lake cracks with ice.


	16. Chapter 16

**~ 16 ~**

Tuuri slips off the pier, onto the ice now everywhere, and runs into the lake's darkness barefoot. Sigrun's heart seizes with fear that she is losing Tuuri all over again, that night on the shore, the ever-night down in the underworld and Tuuri dead on the ice - but her voice fills the air like a storm, descending into a wordless shriek that is disbelief, grief, fury, guilt all mixed. 

Sigrun breathes in to lift her voice. _How about a 'thank you?!'_ she wants to yell back, but all that comes is a thunderclap of quiet, and then waking.


	17. Chapter 17

**~ 17 ~**

She does as Tuuri - still asleep, or pretending to be - told her, calling for Mikkel with a voice that croaks like an old woman's in her ears. She does spot a look of concern as he hurries to her side, med-kit in hand, but he shoves on his mask of calm before turning to her. 

"You gave us quite the fright," he says. "Welcome back." There is someone else hovering behind Mikkel, she notices next - grey hair, mage eyes, sour-sad face, not the Twig. Mikkel gestures to him. "Onni wants to thank you."

"Later," she interrupts. "Test me for immunity."


	18. Chapter 18

**~ 18 ~**

A frown comes into Mikkel's face, and his eyes bulge, but Sigrun is too tired to enjoy the rise she got out of him. 

"Is this a joke?" he asks in a tone that implies he hopes it is. 

"Nuh-uh. Something happened down there. Could be I'm not immune anymore." There's ice in the pit of her stomach as the idea sinks in: No more captaining. No more hunting. 

What does that leave of her if Tuuri is right? 

Bewildered, Mikkel pricks her finger. But when the test kit needle goes through Sigrun's skin, weirdly, it's Tuuri who yelps.


	19. Chapter 19

**~ 19 ~**

The test field turns a putrid black. Mikkel shows it to Onni, who mutters and shakes his head. His thundercloud face says all there is to say. Weirdo, to blink away tears at the same time. 

Sigrun feels some resolve wither in her, but tries to not let it show. "You should test Tuuri, too," she croaks. "Maybe she got my immunity."

Tuuri hears her, and curls in on herself, hiding her hands. "It's all my fault," she whimpers, choking on tears. "I shouldn't be here. I ruined it all." 

Sigrun's still hurting, but - "My choice, my fault," she answers.


	20. Chapter 20

**~ 20 ~**

Emotions take strength that neither has yet. They figure out that Tuuri's still as non-immune as ever, and Sigrun finger throbs with double stings, and then it's more sleep. This time they dream themselves away into a wildflower meadow outside Dalsnes. Some almost-homesickness twists deep in Sigrun's stomach like troll claws. 

She draws her knees up to her chin and stares at her distant hometown. Is she a hero? An idiot? Both? Tuuri, once again curled up at her side, sighs as if she's read that thought. 

_Well_. So that's what it means to be soul-bonded together.


	21. Chapter 21

**~ 21 ~**

It's hard to think.

Non-immunity, soulbonds… a confusion of thoughts hammers in Sigrun's head like a second heartbeat. To test something, she reaches out and tugs sharply on one of Tuuri's fuzzy strands of hair - her own scalp twinges, too. "Sorry," Sigrun mouths. No reply, just bleakness rather than Tuuri's usual sunshine. "So what are we gonna do now?"

It's like talking to a brick wall, until, unexpectedly, Tuuri replies. 

"You shared your _henki_ with me. So if I die, you die, probably. And if you do, I do." She pauses. "I… I don't want you to die."


	22. Chapter 22

**~ 22 ~**

"I love you too," Sigrun replies. Because that's what that means. Otherwise, would she have gone to Tuonela at all, tossing her life into a trash-heap, having to figure out something new? There's nothing else she's good at. Field-work's gonna mean her death now, and… there's Tuuri she'll probably take down with her if she goes. 

And Tuuri has seen enough death for - well, a lifetime. 

She loves Tuuri. Protecting her and everyone else is her job. It's all sorts of unfair, but she would have. She still hates non-immunity with every fiber of her being, but the answer is yes.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, everyone! And you may have noticed that the "23/29" has vanished from the fic's info in favour of "23/?" - I was trying to make this a Femslash February-exclusive project, but Sigrun and Tuuri had other plans, so this'll go on for the foreseeable future.

**~ 23 ~**

"I'm sorry," Tuuri replies eventually. "I'm sorry I'm like this. If… if I'd known… how did you get the swan to… she's a bureaucrat. How'd you get her to let me go?" 

Sigrun shrugs, not actually nonchalant. "Not your fault. The plan was to get rid of that kade creeper to exchange it for you. Somehow your grandma helped. Anyway, it worked, so why bother anymore? If you're up to funny business - I'm _not_ letting you die again." 

A weak first smile makes its way onto Tuuri's lips. "I just mean… maybe if there's one loophole, there's another."


	24. Chapter 24

**~ 24 ~**

That smile is like sunshine breaking through clouds. Over the fjord, in the overcast sky, a bright ray opens up, responding to Sigrun's relief. This is the weasel bunny she's missed, one of Tuuri's facets that's made her knees weak for being so hel-ishly clever and adorable at the same time. 

She could kiss her, but this isn't the time. They have to figure something out, and then at some point she's going to seduce Tuuri good and proper. For now, their fingers tangling, both reaching out at once, will have to be enough. 

"So you're saying…?" 

"We summon grandma."


	25. Chapter 25

**~ 25 ~**

"Oh," Sigrun says, letting go. She never met the woman - Ensi - except in the stories her little Finns told, but it didn't make her sound like anyone she would have liked to meet - too much like some Dalsnes mages of her childhood, old people who survived the end of the Old World and turned funny in the head. 

To be fair, that probably happened to Ensi, too. Though if she'll help - good. 

"How do we do that?" 

"Onni," Tuuri suggests. "He knows how summoning works. And Lalli can probably convince her to do something, she'll probably listen to him. Okay?"


	26. Chapter 26

**~ 26 ~**

"Okay," Sigrun agrees. The clouds have closed up again. 

Tuuri is sitting now, picking a wildflower into pieces on her lap. Sigrun can sense the hum of her nervousness, but also something cold and steady underneath, like the sheet of ice Tuuri slept under - there's all the mess she's shoved down, probably. Dying, coming back, finding your girlfriend gave up her life so far...

On the other hand, ice is something everyone should have. Sigrun's needed it to not feel sorry for one poor troll bugger, or too scared of another. 

It was Tuuri's death that broke it into pieces.


	27. Chapter 27

**~ 27 ~**

And Tuuri knows - senses - it. She comes to her at last and hides her face against Sigrun's chest. The fabric of Sigrun's dream garb gets wet with Tuuri's tears, but for once it's not so hard to stay still. Tuuri right there, alive… 

By waking time, they are still in one another's arms.

Tuuri's in her hold in the waking world, too, with her blankets cocooning her, and Sigrun can't help a contented glow inside herself. It's evening, there's a fire going, the rest of her team's around it, and she's feeling a bit better too, less soul-sore and tired.


	28. Chapter 28

**~ 28 ~**

It's not until Tuuri has called for Lalli and Onni and talks to them in rapid-fire Finnish, amid Onni sniffling and Lalli squeezing Tuuri's hand, that the word _Tuonela_ slips out of Tuuri's mouth, and Sigrun feels ice creep into her veins again. 

"Are we going back? To Tuonela?" she asks, and Tuuri halts. 

"Just to make it right," Tuuri answers, but there is something evasive in her voice, and her thoughts are in a jumble Sigrun can't make sense of. "Onni thinks it's safer, so he's gonna send us down again, just us, to meet my grandma."


	29. Chapter 29

**~ 29 ~**

Surprise! If there's an instant recipe for a terrified Sigrun, it's this. 

_Safer_ , Tuuri had the gall to say. Something fractures into sharp pieces in Sigrun's mind; she has to lie back, all-over-wobbly, breathe it down. A bunch of concerned faces peer at her - figures that the rest of them would wander over now. 

Sigrun grits her teeth. It's not a smile by any measure, and she belatedly realizes she can't ask Onni if what Tuuri said is true without involving Mikkel, heathen doubter that he is. 

She trusts Tuuri to not pull any funny business, doesn't she?


	30. Chapter 30

**~ 30 ~**

She'll have to, probably. But still, when Sigrun can breathe again, she asks. "Safer _how_?!" 

Another quick dialogue between Tuuri and Onni, now white in the face. "My grandma could still be part kade. Onni can't summon her here without risk, if she doesn't defeat it again like she did when she helped them get rid of it." 

Going down there is already bad enough, but now Ensi… and Onni's fear makes Sigrun afraid, too. Scared mages are bad news. Everyone knows that. 

Tuuri, though, grins. "We'll need the swan on our side. She won't want more paperwork."


	31. Chapter 31

**~ 31 ~**

It's a flimsy assurance at best. Sigrun's never had a head - or a liking - for paperwork, so she can't blame the bird, but she can't help thinking that just going down there again will cause a world of trouble, and a few pages more or less won't make a difference. 

But then... Onni, overprotective anxious mess of a big brother with more issues than anyone can count, wouldn't let Tuuri outwit him. He's the one who raised her, knows all her tricks, and won't let her - much less help her - her go into mortal danger… not a second time.

Right?


	32. Chapter 32

**~ 32 ~**

Tuuri meets Sigrun's eye, and again there is a brief impression that she can't help - messy thoughts, some of them bright and glowing at the surface like her smile, and then something below, something secretive. Tuuri _is_ planning something.

Sigrun can't wrap her head around what else that means. 

And now Tuuri is hiding her expression behind a wide yawn. Sigrun can't help a huff, and she doesn't even bother to keep it quiet. If they're soul-bound, she hopes that Tuuri can read her as well as she can read Tuuri, that she knows that something is up.


	33. Chapter 33

**~ 33 ~**

Probably. "Are you going to say anything?" Tuuri asks her eventually, voice high and fake-innocent. "Or are you just going to keep giving me weird looks?"

Sigrun is halfway tempted to just call this off, even though her life so far is on the line. Settling down, or going down. Both suck, but only one involves Tuonela.

She takes another breath. "We're not going until you're telling me what you're up to." 

There are noises of astonishment from those of the team who understood her, except Tuuri, who starts up and takes several unsteady steps out of the firelight circle.


	34. Chapter 34

**~ 34 ~**

With her fists balled at her sides and her back turned to them, Tuuri stands in the half-dark. Sigrun has no idea what time it is, but in northern Finnish summer, it's not dark enough for the evening to swallow Tuuri completely.

"You're scared to go now?" she gripes without turning around, and then her legs give and Tuuri sits down heavily in the moss. "You get your soul ripped apart for me, and then you don't follow through in trying to make it right? I don't get it! It's like you _want_ things to be like this!"


	35. Chapter 35

**~ 35 ~**

All eyes turn to Sigrun, even those who didn't understand the outburst. Onni, for whom Lalli translates, comes and stands by Sigrun with a guarded expression on his face, but there's a shining gratitude in his eyes that he can't quite hide. 

"Tuuri..." Sigrun says, wondering just when _she_ became the reasonable one. "Yeah. Maybe I want that. I don't want to lose you again, and I don't feel like dying yet, at least not if it's not going out in a blaze of glory. We can figure something out. Travelling. We'll go to Iceland. _Something_."


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose this deserves a CW/TW for... well, all sorts of internalized... ableism? Not sure what to call that in Tuuri's case. Also, suicidal ideation if you squint. I'm sorry this took such a dark turn, but right now it's trauma catchup time.

**~ 36 ~**

"I just thought…" Tuuri says, and now her voice is small and defeated, and Sigrun's heart cracks again. "... maybe I could be immune somehow, too? I don't want to live like - _this_ \- anymore. And I don't want you to have to, either. It's better to be dead than to be scared all the time."

Mikkel gives Sigrun a pointed look. When she nods, he reaches for a blanket, picks Tuuri up bodily, over his shoulder and wrapped against kicking. Takes having baby siblings, probably. 

"Not gonna happen," Sigrun says, reaching to pull Tuuri against her when Mikkel sets her down.


	37. Chapter 37

**~ 37 ~**

Something slips into place to have Tuuri so close. The tension hasn't drained out of her, and Tuuri's hands are still balled into fists, and for the first time Sigrun thinks she's got an inkling of understanding of what Tuuri must be feeling - has been feeling all along. Fear.

Because Sigrun's afraid - terrified - of returning to Tuonela. The dark. The strangeness. The snapping jaws of the dog beast down there. The swan, growing into a monster against the stars. And that's from the woman who's been fighting trolls since she turned sixteen. 

Tuuri, on the other hand, got the Rash. She _died_.


	38. Chapter 38

**~ 38 ~**

And that makes all the difference. Sigrun has a choice about going back - she can refuse going to Tuonela, stay up in the living world, and stay safe.

For Tuuri, it's not so easy. The living world was what killed her, and Sigrun yanked her back out of her peaceful sleep. Maybe it's not what Sigrun wants for the afterlife - no maybe about it, really - but for Tuuri, who took her fill of life and made her own end, as much as she could… 

There's no room for gratitude. Or Sigrun's ego. 

"Do you want me to let you go?"


	39. Chapter 39

**~ 39 ~**

The answer, the _yes_ that Sigrun dreads, never comes. A moment of anxious listening, and she notices Tuuri's deep breaths. She's spent. Asleep. If she's faking it, Sigrun can't tell.

She meets the eyes of the others, all hanging back to give her space - even Onni, whose eyes are trained on his little sister all the same. Lalli is done translating everything for him, then Onni gets up with a start, sits down ramrod-straight by the fire, snatching up a stick to jab at the flames, muttering familiar words in his nonsense language. 

Something something _Kokko_.


	40. Chapter 40

**~ 40 ~**

Kokko - that giant fire-eagle, Sigrun remembers as much. She'd never really thought about where it came from to save their asses, but if Onni made it… it makes sense that the thing spoke Finnish. 

A hot flare of anger - and relief - surges up in Sigrun's throat, and her hands momentarily tighten in Tuuri's blanket, then she extricates herself as carefully as she can, and tries to stalk - it's more of an unsteady wobble, really - over to him. 

It was Kokko - _Onni_ \- that sent the slithering troll hiding under the tank. The one that broke through the bottom. That bit Tuuri.


	41. Chapter 41

**~ 41 ~**

She's dimly aware of the others following, Mikkel's hand squeezing her shoulder. It doesn't help.

She wants to deck Onni right in his dumb Finnish face. 

It wasn't her fault or Reynir's fault for showing up and being non-immune so she had to put her arm in that flat troll's mouth, or Mikkel's for setting the ghosts on their trail, or Lalli's for not shooting that troll quick enough. 

She's chewed through all that during quarantine. She's… forgiven the others, as much as there was to forgive, but she didn't know about Onni.

 _Onni's fault._ It changes everything.


	42. Chapter 42

**~ 42 ~**

With Mikkel pulling her back, Sigrun's swing arcs wide. Emil ducks out of the way, and Sigrun tries to break out of the others thronging her in. 

"Hey," she protests, but uselessly. She bumps against Mikkel's broad chest, and groans when she realizes that there's no point. She isn't strong enough yet, and anyway, his grip is like stone, big guy and his muscles. 

"What was that about?" Emil asks. "What'd Onni do?" 

"He's the one who kicked it off. He's the one who got us all here!" More reasons rush in as she thinks about it, all centered on Onni.


	43. Chapter 43

**~ 43 ~**

Lalli, who has so far been as quick and quiet, ducking around the edges of things, gives a hoarse laugh. "No. Onni has… the guilt feeling… knowledge. But not the only fault." 

"I really don't wanna talk about it," Sigrun mutters. Mikkel's hand's like a weight of stone, she's too tired to keep fighting, and the rest of them are waiting anxiously. Reynir is side-eyeing Sigrun, and says something to Onni in his quick clip of Icelandic. Mikkel translates Onni's reply. 

"He is thinking about summoning Kokko again for her to make amends; he would pay the price for it."


	44. Chapter 44

**~ 44 ~**

Reynir makes a choked sound in response, kneels by Onni and puts his head on Onni's knee. It looks odd, Reynir's gangly figure so hunched over, but Sigrun's lost all the humor of it. She remembers Reynir's tear-stained face after Tuuri died, and now their return swims to the surface of Sigrun's awareness, Reynir throwing his arms around both of them before she passed back out. Poor over-enthusiastic puppy. 

Someone's going to wind up hurt through this: Same as Sigrun's soul and no matter how far they travelled to find him, Onni's life is his own to give away, too.


	45. Chapter 45

**~ 45 ~**

But she thinks again before saying anything. She's barely recognizing herself. If Tuuri was so upset about _Sigrun_ sharing her life with Tuuri to help her get back - what'll she do if her brother is the one to kill himself over something she doesn't even want? 

She remembers the way Tuuri fretted about him - fretted, and griped, almost without pause - when Torbjörn gave her the news about Onni after battle night. That she didn't want to tell him because she was scared of his reaction. His heartbreak. 

She loves Tuuri, but her whole family is the worst mess.


	46. Chapter 46

**~ 46 ~**

"So…" Sigrun casts a glance over at Tuuri, who seems to still be asleep, and for a moment all she wants is to go back over there and join her in dreams. She's so damn tired. They came the way out into some terrible Finnish backwater for all this.

She wants, badly, to go home. 

Someone - Emil - helps Sigrun sit down on a fallen log. He's good at picking up on things, her little Viking, but now she's fighting to keep her eyes open. "Tell Onni," she mumbles, "to ask Tuuri. 's her choice. We can't make it for her."


	47. Chapter 47

**~ 47 ~**

"And what could Kokko even do? Anything, or is he gonna burn himself to a crisp for nothing?" 

She's dimly aware of words she can't understand being exchanged behind her, while her consciousness is floating somewhere halfway between awake and passing out, definitely more on the passing-out side of things. The world's blurry at the edges. 

"Onni says she… uh, she is fond of humans," Emil says next to her, frowning as he listens in to the Finnish conversation between Onni and Lalli. "That she'll want to help if she realizes what happened. That she's powerful." 

"Huh," Sigrun says. "Good."


	48. Chapter 48

**~ 48 ~**

Maybe if she's that fond of humans, Kokko won't fry Onni when he calls for her, the way she probably did the last time. Or maybe they're gonna have to deal with that and drag Onni's crispy ass back into civilization hoping he'll wake up eventually. 

Whatever.

Sigrun's head jerks up, away from the rising blackness; Emil gives her a sidelong look, a frown of concern. "You need to sleep."

Sigrun doesn't like this at all, feeling like she's the one who needs to be taken care of now. She's their Captain, damnit, she shouldn't be this dumb… helpless… weak.


	49. Chapter 49

**~ 49 ~**

Mikkel's bulk shoves into view. Sigrun's hoisted up by the arm; at least Mikkel leaves her enough dignity to not be bridal-carried to her blankets. One step after the other, her feet dragging, she makes it over. Something probably shows on her face. 

"You are going through the stages of grief," Mikkel says, helping her lie down. "These changes are a lot to process all at once. I am expecting this to go on for some time, unless Onni's idea is successful." 

"You're a head-doctor now? Psycho-doc? They tried to stick me with one once, didn't go well."

Mikkel just rumbles.


	50. Chapter 50

**~ 50 ~**

Sigrun gives a grumble in return, which doesn't elicit anything from Mikkel except a dispassionate "Go to sleep, Sigrun," which makes her wrap herself into her blankets trying to not steal them all from Tuuri. She curls up with the warmth of the fire at her back, facing the semi-dark of the forest, Tuuri's sleeping form still and snug against her.

Something moves between the trees, furtive, lurching, through the underbrush. 

Sigrun's instincts take over. Her hand goes to the long dagger she's wearing at her belt, fingers finding the comfortable grip of the pommel. 

She climbs to her feet.


	51. Chapter 51

**~ 51 ~**

Gods bless adrenaline for chasing away the tiredness and hurt. 

The lurching thing isn't far. Sigrun notices a fluffy red-and-white shadow by her feet - the cat, puffed up and hissing. The rest of them haven't even noticed the threat, letting their guards so far down they're lucky they haven't been eaten.

The underbrush opens a clear path to the lurching troll. The cat springs at the troll's face. The thing topples over. Sigrun drives her dagger home easily, bone rotten, brittle. 

_Okay!_ She's not useless!

She's about to congratulate Pusekat for her heroism when Sigrun's yanked backward bodily.


	52. Chapter 52

**~ 52 ~**

It's Tuuri, arms locked around Sigrun's waist as they topple against a tree, crash into the underbrush and finally onto the moss, away from the dead troll. 

"DON'T _DO_ THAT!" Tuuri all but yells, and her voice snaps, spittle flying. Then the trample of the others. She's sheet-white, terrified. "YOU'RE NOT IMMUNE ANYMORE! DO YOU _WANT_ TO GET INFECTED?! _I DON'T WANT TO DIE AGAIN!_ " 

Her chest heaves and sinks rapidly, and her grip on Sigrun hasn't loosened a bit, and Sigrun can feel the drumming of Tuuri's heart fiercely alive against her back.


	53. Chapter 53

**~ 53 ~**

It takes a moment to sink in: Sigrun has Tuuri's answer. Her moment of terror shook loose honest words.

In spite of everything, Tuuri wants to live.

But really, beyond that, all Sigrun can think is that Tuuri just saved her life. She's used to being invincible, she's used to taking charge. So much that she forgot that's over now...

… unless she agrees to give Tuonela another try. If Tuuri wants her to, and agrees to let Onni summon the fire-eagle, Sigrun resolves that she will. 

First, though, she needs some resolve to free herself from Tuuri's hold.


	54. Chapter 54

**~ 54 ~**

It's harder than she thought it would be, even though what they are in is hardly an embrace, and Sigrun's keenly aware that Tuuri is sprawled underneath her, squirming to get her bearings. She takes a moment to breathe down the shock of what just happened, then rolls off Tuuri, and turns to briefly rest her forehead against Tuuri's. 

Their lips are so close. 

Tuuri gives her a shove that sends Sigrun off balance, and climbs to her feet, brushing the moss and old leaves off her clothing. 

"Now you know what it's like. It'll always be like that now."


	55. Chapter 55

**~ 55 ~**

Sigrun sits by Tuuri's feet, studying her frown and her crossed arms. "You don't want to go to Tuonela anymore? Because I… had the chance to think it over. And Onni's helping. He'll summon Kokko, if you're okay with that, to make up for the mess we're in." 

"I… he'll... _what_?" 

"Yeah, and besides he's why we're here anyway. We came because he ran away from Iceland and we went after him, and stumbled right into his getting-rid-of-that-Kade-and-taking-you-home plot. That worked." Sigrun shrugs. "And now he wants to turn himself into a fried chicken to make things right."


	56. Chapter 56

**~ 56 ~**

Tuuri snorts at first, but her face becomes the picture of distress when the reality of the words sinks in. She walks off briskly, and the next moment, she's looming over Onni by the fire - Tuuri _can_ loom, Sigrun notices in amazement - and she's yelling in Finnish until her voice cracks. Even if they weren't connected, the distress bleeding out of Tuuri is obvious. 

Onni's stoic face doesn't betray anything. Lalli, nearby, covers his ears and burrows against Emil, who murmurs sweet nothings at him. 

Then Lalli's head perks up, looking for all the world like he has an idea.


	57. Chapter 57

**~ 57 ~**

"What?" Emil yelps when Lalli bounds up, his hands still over his ears, but far from the overwhelmed bundle of misery he was a moment ago. "What did I _say_? Whatever it was, I'm sorry, okay?"

Lalli shakes his head at him and darts over to Onni and Tuuri, puts a hand over Tuuri's mouth and silences her. Even from where she's sitting, Sigrun can hear Tuuri pant, and sees how her hands ball into fists to be shut up. But whatever it is that Lalli has to say seems to quiet her down least for the moment. 


	58. Chapter 58

**~ 58 ~**

Next, Lalli pokes Reynir hard in the forehead. 

"The mages three." Mikkel - moving so noiseless, how? - observes, offering Sigrun a hand up to get away from the dead troll. Oh. Yeah. She probably shouldn't stay near that, Rash germs and all that. 

If she's infected, she resolves, she'll make sure Valhalla welcomes her by finding the biggest giant she can. Maybe that Surma, although surely they're out of its territory now. Doesn't matter, there's enough trolls out there.

"Mages three, huh? Is that a good thing?" 

"I believe so," Mikkel replies. "I believe Lalli wants them to share the strain."


	59. Chapter 59

**~ 59 ~**

"Hey, Fuzzy!" Sigrun calls. "Hear that? It's not fried chicken time for Grumpypants here, after all." 

"I heard that," Tuuri replies, still sour. "I speak Finnish and Icelandic." 

"So… I said a good thing?" Emil cuts in, boggling. "I just said we'd get through this together, and then Lalli jumped and ran." 

Emil's the one Tuuri graces with a half-smile; Sigrun can almost feel the jab at her physically. "I think so. If they say the runo for summoning together, maybe that'll help. And maybe… I don't think Reynir can help, but Lalli thinks he can make a protection rune."


	60. Chapter 60

**~ 60 ~**

"Farm magic school's been good for a few things." Sigrun says, thinking hard to keep the conversation going. Maybe it'll calm Tuuri down. "Reynir gave me a rune belt to wear down there - it's probably still there. That swan didn't send it back with me." 

Tuuri's eyes linger on her long enough to be more than just an annoyed glance, then flick to Reynir. "He went to magic school?" 

"Yeah. You missed a lot. I'll catch you up on it when we're done with all this." 

Tuuri huffs out a breath, and her expression softens, anger exhausted. "Do that now?"


	61. Chapter 61

**~ 61 ~**

Sigrun opens her arms. Tuuri comes to her with a brief moment of hesitation, her glance going to the dark heap of the troll corpse in the underbrush, but by now they know that if one of them's a goner, the other is, too. There isn't anything to lose. 

The feeling of Tuuri's warm body melting against her is relief personified, and Sigrun can't help tuck her nose into Tuuri's hair-fuzz; Tuuri shakes with a quiet laugh. "I missed this." 

"Me too, Fuzzy-Head." Sigrun presses a kiss to her hair. "Let's let the mages talk. Meet you in some dream."


	62. Chapter 62

**~ 62 ~**

"Okay," Tuuri says. 

They make it to their beds, and Tuuri curls up with one arm across Sigrun's body; for a moment her fingers tease at the collar of Sigrun's shirt, but then Tuuri's mouth opens in a giant yawn that makes them both laugh and disrupts anything more there might have been. 

"Sleep."

"Yeah. Sleep." Sigrun closes her heavy eyelids, and that's all it takes to slip under. Her connection to Tuuri pulls her along to someplace different from before: This time, it's Sigrun's wildflower meadow, meandering down to a Finnish island shore, Tuuri's pier and boathouse.


	63. Chapter 63

**~ 63 ~**

Tuuri enters the dream standing on the shore, but facing up the gentle slope toward Sigrun, and then comes walking to her. She picks her way through the flowers, running her hands over the petals of this flower and that - Sigrun doesn't know what most of them are - and stoops to pick a bright yellow thing that she tucks behind her ear. 

"I like this," Tuuri says, gesturing at the dreamworld around them, blending their two little worlds. "It fits," and then she tucks herself against Sigrun's side, tilting her head up for a kiss that Sigrun happily grants.


	64. Chapter 64

**~ 64 ~**

They're both a little breathless when they part, and both of them are more tousled than before. Tuuri releases the handful of Sigrun's hair and pulls back, and the grin across her face speaks volumes. 

"So you're not angry with me anymore," Sigrun says. She's feeling warm, like Tuuri's sunshine smile is contagious. 

"I wasn't _angry_ ," Tuuri replies, low now. "I was scared for you. Both of us, I guess. But I thought about what you said. I want to live. It just… isn't that easy. You don't get being non-immune. And I'd already given up. So."


	65. Chapter 65

**~ 65 ~**

"I get it now," Sigrun says. She looks around, half-expecting the troll corpse to manifest somewhere. Her last kill, and it wasn't even a spectacular one. It's hard not to feel bitter about that, and that she didn't even get a scar to remember it by, but… she's still alive. That's something, now, even if it doesn't come with the wonderful feeling of aliveness after a successful hunt. 

But maybe she'll get used to it. Maybe their mad plan will actually work and she won't actually have to get used to it. And then there's… well, this. And there's Tuuri.


	66. Chapter 66

**~ 66 ~**

The way their dreamspaces have blended and mingled is a strange comfort to Sigrun. The haze of summer air, the sun's play on the water, the wavy light it casts onto the meadow of flowers, make it seem like a dream. Not that it's any less a dream as-is, and she knows it, but… the feeling it gives her is definitely dream-like. 

It'd be a pity to lose it, now that they've gotten it - fight and reconciliation, and peace.

But they can't stay there forever, as much as she'd like that. The world owes Tuuri an apology and recompense.


	67. Chapter 67

**~ 67 ~**

But first - "You wanted to tell me what happened while I was… gone," Tuuri says eventually, throwing her weight against Sigrun so they both topple over backwards into the flowers, and the scent of fresh grass and herbs envelops them. 

"Right. Where do you want me to start?" 

"At the beginning? Or… ending, I guess." Tuuri winces. "I'm sorry I ran off without a goodbye. That'd just have made things so much worse." Those words, the way Tuuri's voice drops to a whisper - that sends a spike of pain straight into Sigrun's heart.

Sigrun shakes her head. "It's okay now."


	68. Chapter 68

**~ 68 ~**

"It wasn't okay then, I guess," Tuuri replies, and Sigrun isn't going to keep hiding anything from Tuuri - not that they won't find out everything about each other anyway, all the warts and ugly bits. 

"No. And we lost Emil and Twig," she explains. "Not lost-lost, but a giant chased them off after they stayed behind because Lalli was scared for your soul. They ended up on an ice floe and had to walk the rest of the way from a totally different spot," she adds. "I wouldn't have managed if Mikkel hadn't wheelbarrowed me along after breaking down."


	69. Chapter 69

**~ 69 ~**

Tuuri's brow furrows. She fidgets guiltily, tries to change the topic. "So how come Reynir went to magic school?" Tuuri asks into the awkward silence after Sigrun's confession. 

"So we kept walking - or they did, Mikkel pushed me along, but then Freckles just ran off and found the troll priest lady's temple… church. The ghosts came after us that night, and they did _something_ \- something magey, I guess, that almost brought the place down around our ears. Anyway, they were gone in the morning. That's when I started feeling better, too. God stuff is… pretty neat sometimes."


	70. Chapter 70

**~ 70 ~**

"Oh," Tuuri says. "That doesn't really explain anything about Reynir going to school, but I'm glad you get rid of the ghosts. And that you recovered." Her hands go around Sigrun's arm, the one that was hurt in the troll attack all the way at the beginning. "You know, it was when you protected Reynir when I realized that you were amazing." 

Sigrun smiles briefly, and turns to Tuuri, but stops short before it turns into another kiss, mouths so close their lips are almost touching. Tuuri squirms in answer. 

"Was it? You didn't wait long to make your move."


	71. Chapter 71

**~ 71 ~**

Tuuri smile dims. "No, because I caught on that the trip wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. I just didn't think anything would happen to me, not with you around. And I wasn't _that_ wrong. I know you tried to help me. And then you came for me." 

The quiet in Tuuri's voice is enough to close up Sigrun's throat for a moment. "If there could be miracles like the bit with the ghosts, I hoped you'd get one too, if I made it happen. And then everything came together, with Onni running out here."


	72. Chapter 72

**~ 72 ~**

"Yes," Tuuri agrees, still in that same tone of voice, partially wonder. "Even if it didn't turn out all the way you thought, I think the gods are keeping an eye on us, especially because we're special now. Do you think they'll help us get this sorted?" 

"Maybe? We won't know until we try, just sitting around and talking won't make it any better. It definitely won't make them make a move to help us, at least that's what I think my gods think. I don't know about yours, they're strange. We don't have swan gods or fire eagle gods."


	73. Chapter 73

**~ 73 ~**

"You have a woman with half a face. I'd rather go sleep under ice than meet her if I die the wrong way," Tuuri retorts. "And Valhalla… sounds loud." 

Sigrun snorts. "There's Fólkvangr, if you'd rather go be with Freya, though she's the one who takes her pick. I'm sure we could still visit." 

"So you think I'm going to come to your afterlife?" 

"I don't know. But we're bound together now, and I gave you half my life." 

"So why are we still going to Tuonela? Maybe Reynir can just advocate for us with your gods instead."


	74. Chapter 74

**~ 74 ~**

Sigrun shakes her head. "It's where all that happened. Finnish gods messed up, Finnish gods fix it. I don't even know if mine would, not when it's all on yours." 

"Mmm." Tuuri looks neither convinced nor happy, but instead of objecting she nestles up against Sigrun, and strokes her cheek with one finger, until Sigrun hums low in her throat. Tuuri isn't the type for mindless tenderness. "Trying to seduce me?" 

"If I have to try," Tuuri retorts. "I'm just thinking… if we're really bound, this is going to be… nice. And maybe it's our only chance to do this."


	75. Chapter 75

**~ 75 ~**

"It'll be a good goodbye, yeah." _Much better than running off into the sea_ , but Sigrun doesn't say that out loud, and she hopes that Tuuri doesn't pick up on her thought. 

"That isn't what I meant," Tuuri replies, leaning close, nuzzling her cute, upturned nose against Sigrun's. If she caught that idea, she's not showing it. "Just… if they remove our connection I'll - "

" - be dead again," Sigrun says. "They can't, unless they can give you a new life-soul." 

"Not what I _meant_! It'll be nicer to feel what we're doing while we're connected."


	76. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably guessed from the buildup, but this is the drabble where some (brief, non-graphic) sex happens. If that's not your thing, it's entirely skippable. The main takeaway is Sigrun and Tuuri strengthening their connection and finding out how nice it is to be in sync through their soulbond.

**~ 76 ~**

Sigrun snorts, surprised laughter. "That's silly, but I like it… show me what you mean?" 

Tuuri is happy to oblige, and it's not long until the scent of crushed herbs and flowers strengthens around them; Sigrun is grabbing a bushel of grass in one fist, while her other hand guides Tuuri, although she wouldn't even have to.

It's all Tuuri promised and more, sensations and thoughts flow freely between them, until they both lie gasping, spent and still thrumming with pleasure. Sigrun never felt so close to Tuuri or her sheer indomitable aliveness.

She can't lose her again.


	77. Chapter 77

**~ 77 ~**

As if she picked up that thought, Tuuri says, squinting into the sunshine above them with a smile, "If I promise not to die, promise me you don't die, okay? I like… this. Not just… you know." She gestures at herself and Sigrun, leaving no doubt that she meant the sex they just had. "I like _this_. The way we're together right now. " 

Sigrun rumbles an agreement, low in her throat. She's too tired and happily worn out for words right now - Tuuri made sure of that - and the ordeal before them feels far away right now.


	78. Chapter 78

**~ 78 ~**

They doze in the sunlight for a while, warm on their skin, and the lazy droning of bees and the lapping of waves on the lakeshore are the perfect backdrop. If she could, Sigrun would build a house there and stay in her dream until she gets bored, but unfortunately the real world intrudes way too soon, and she finds herself yanked into waking and awareness when someone shakes her shoulder. 

She looks up into Onni's face outlined against the morning sky. He looks like he didn't sleep much, if at all, and Reynir and Lalli linger nearby.


	79. Chapter 79

**~ 79 ~**

Reynir is holding sheets of paper in his hands that show an intricate rune on each, carefully drawn in red dimming to a crusty brown - blood. Seems like Freckles is capable of learning, Sigrun notes with approval, when she notices the bandage on his fingertip. She sure doesn't know if the Finnish gods like blood, too, but if it makes hers watch over her again, then she's more than willing to give it a try. 

"Is it time?" Tuuri mumbles in Swedish, when she stirs awake under Onni's nudging as well. 

"Looks like it," Sigrun replies. "You ready, Fuzzy-Head?"


	80. Chapter 80

**~ 80 ~**

"No," Tuuri says. "But it's our only chance." 

She climbs to her feet and throws herself at Onni with force; his arms come around Tuuri; he balances precariously to not topple over with Tuuri in his arms, and presses his face against her shoulder. Sigrun doesn't understand the Finnish they talk, but she understands when they call for Lalli to join their hug - and he comes, hesitantly, hanging back from too much touch and looking like he's going to bolt any moment, but tolerating hands patting his back. 

Then Tuuri disentangles one arm from Onni and waves in Sigrun, too.


	81. Chapter 81

**~ 81 ~**

Of course she joins them, and Sigrun also resolves that maybe, just maybe, if she's part of the Hotakainen clan now - and hey, she can give Onni's grumpiness another chance as long as he's useful and wants to make amends for what he screwed up - she's going to have to try and learn their nonsense language. If they get out of this alive. Maybe. 

Next, Emil comes over to kneel next to Lalli, furtively sneaking his hand into Lalli's. Reynir throws himself at Onni's back, and Mikkel joins them, too, carrying the cat. 

Seems like they're all a family.


	82. Chapter 82

**~ 82 ~**

The moment is over way too quickly. Lalli is the first to squirm out of the hug, though Sigrun notices he doesn't let go of Emil's hand. Reynir bounds up, and next Sigrun elbows Mikkel to make room for her to get out. 

Tuuri, she sees with a pang of guilt, is wiping at her wet eyes and clinging to her brother, still. It could be their final goodbye if something goes wrong, Sigrun realizes - a better goodbye than the last one they had; Tuuri told her that it was a rushed departure by ship that they almost missed. 

Not this time.


	83. Chapter 83

**~ 83 ~**

Eventually, it's Onni who takes a step backwards, grasps Tuuri by the shoulders and looks her in the face intently. Whatever it is he says to her, it makes Tuuri cry harder, and even though he tries to remain stoic, there's a shine of tears in his eyes, too.

"Maybe we should get going?" Sigrun suggests eventually. "Tuuri. Ready now?" 

Tuuri gives Onni another forlorn look, and Lalli, staring into space, receives the same."I… I guess." 

"Then let's do this. We're all set?" 

"A moment," Mikkel says, digging through his bag to hand Onni needle and red thread.


	84. Chapter 84

**~ 84 ~**

Onni murmurs something rhythmic at the needle, and it glints for a moment in what's not natural morning sunlight; then he goes and stitches a quick, neat symbol into the chest of Sigrun's shirt - same as last time, a square with loopy corners. He does the same for Tuuri, who explains: "It's called the Hannunvaakuna; it's supposed to… ward off evil things and bad luck. I'm not sure it works against the things down there. They're just doing their job, too." 

"Oh, it works against the terror swan," Sigrun says. "Onni did that for me when I came to get you."


	85. Chapter 85

**~ 85 ~**

When Onni is done stitching - and Sigrun thinks of him mending socks to teach him to stitch this so quickly - Reynir comes forward with his runes and hands one each to Sigrun and Tuuri. "Keep them with you," Tuuri translates his Icelandic, and folds up hers to fit into the pocket of her pants. Sigrun follows suit, and then looks at the rune that Reynir has drawn on the ground, large enough for the three mages to each stand in one segment of the branching spikes partitioning the circle. 

Onni joins them, kneeling to pluck some first notes from his kantele.


	86. Chapter 86

**~ 86 ~**

Sigrun feels goosebumps race down her spine when the music drops away and Onni begins to lead the chanting. The mages' hands join, and Lalli's voice lifts out of his usual half-whisper, unexpectedly clear and young. 

Reynir's eyes fly open and widen when both Lalli and Onni's magic begins to manifest. Blood begins to run from Lalli's nose, and there is a shiver in the air, a blaze of shimmering heat. Emil holds his flamethrower at the ready, waiting to pull the trigger.

Lalli's knees buckle, then Onni's. Reynir doesn't let go of their hands. 

Then the fire bursts.


	87. Chapter 87

**~ 87 ~**

Kokko swoops into the air out of the blaze, wingtips brushing the pines around her. Branches smoulder. Pine cones rain to earth as glowing embers. Sigrun dares a look at Emil's face - Little Viking is beside himself, but she doesn't have a long time to look. 

Kokko glides out of the trees and perches on a large rock in the lake nearby. Tuuri yanks on Sigrun's hand and starts running, but it's Sigrun who reaches the lakeshore first. 

It's like the sun came down; Kokko is almost too bright to look at, and the water reflects slivers of her fire.


	88. Chapter 88

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exciting news! I finished this series last night! The posting schedule won't change, I'm still going to post a chapter every night, but there's an end point we're working toward - 101 drabbles total! ^^

**~ 88 ~**

The feeling of awe - there's an actual god, an actual spirit that they - the mages - called down to help them - is too large for Sigrun to even comprehend, or act on it. It's instinct that makes her reach for Tuuri's hand when she comes barreling out of the forest, and they step forward until the water laps at their ankles. 

"What do you want?" says Kokko, in a voice that is the cry of an eagle, the rush of fire, ancient and kind. 

"We need your help," Sigrun answers. "To set something right." 

They tell their story together, and Kokko listens.


	89. Chapter 89

**~ 89 ~**

"Very well," Kokko says at last. There is regret in her voice now. "It was never my intent to cause you grief, Tuuri, although not all of it is my doing. And it is not my gift to turn back time and undo that night. But I will see that the wrongs are set right." 

"We… we'd like to stay together. Like this," Tuuri answers, gripping Sigrun's hand tighter. "Only… it's not fair that Sigrun had to lose her immunity." 

Can eagles - giant fire eagles, at that - smile? Sigrun isn't sure, but if they can, that's what Kokko is doing.


	90. Chapter 90

**~ 90 ~**

"I did not say that Sigrun joining her soul to yours is a wrong," Kokko says. "It was brave - foolish, maybe, but brave, and a feat that few of the heroes of old would have dared. I will not have her punished for this - but come. We must go and speak with the Swan of Tuonela, although I expect you must make a choice. Joined as you are, you will need to decide what your fate will be once your mortal bodies die. Consider it well." 

Tuuri's face is set when she answers, "We have. We talked about it. I decided."


	91. Chapter 91

**~ 91 ~**

"You deci - " Sigrun begins. The resolve her Fuzzy-Head is showing would knock her off her feet if not, next, talons of iron didn't lift both of them up, gently. 

The ground, the lake, the trees, then even the sky drop away into blue and black and bright birds' wings. Last time, when Onni sang Sigrun to Tuonela, it was like falling into a hole, not this. 

She likes this better. Beside her, Tuuri is reaching out a hand. "The Birds' Path!" she calls. "I came this way the first time." 

Finally, stars, ice and darkness, and northern lights in the sky.


	92. Chapter 92

**~ 92 ~**

Ice cracks on the edge of the river when Kokko alights and sets Sigrun and Tuuri down. Their hands find each other; their fingers tangle. Sigrun feels like she swallowed a handful of ice, cold fear radiating outward from her stomach.

The air is dead, moveless, icy. 

Even with Kokko near them, Sigrun can't help feeling that something will come for them. And then - the whistle of wings cutting the air, and a splash as the swan comes rushing at them across the river. 

Her neck stretches; she hisses. _"You again!"_

And Tuuri's hand in Sigrun's - it's gone.


	93. Chapter 93

**~ 93 ~**

_Tuuri_ is gone. 

Sigrun's knees buckle with fear, grief, disbelief; even Kokko startles. Sigrun can still feel Tuuri, the racing of her heart alongside her own, the panic rushing through her veins. It's worse when all that fades into a stillness that says Tuuri is gone, _Tuuri is dead again_ \- but she wanted to _live_. 

No.

Miraculously, Sigrun finds herself still upright, even though the edge of the vision swims. She has her rune. She has her sigil. She has her knife. 

She forces her body into motion, toward the river and the swan.


	94. Chapter 94

**~ 94 ~**

A flaming wing descends in her path, and Sigrun stops. It's getting hard to breathe, there is darkness flickering at the edge of her sight, black spots like bugs crawling across her sight.

She's gonna pass out any moment now, but the wing dips and steadies her. It's warm like the perfect distance to a campfire. Sigrun could just let herself fall now, could find Tuuri - if she's going to die as well… better here, where she can be close to Tuuri, than anywhere else. 

Kokko, meanwhile, turns to the swan. "Explain." Her voice booms like a roar of fire.


	95. Chapter 95

**~ 95 ~**

Another hiss. "They wasted the grace I humored them with before. This is my task, Tuonela is not the realm of the living."

"They were under my protection," Kokko counters. "You had no right." 

"I had. Souls come to Tuonela to rest. _That one_ ," and she sweeps a wing at Sigrun; Sigrun slashes after it with her knife and the swan knocks it from her hand into the river, malice in her yellow eyes that the Hannunvaakuna protects Sigrun from direct harm, "has no place here. Take her away, leave her with her own gods. She's already dying."


	96. Chapter 96

**~ 96 ~**

"Fuck you!" Sigrun spits, but there's despair and tears behind it more than anything else. The swan laughs, if her hideous screeching is laughter. Sigrun was so convinced things would turn out well, that Kokko would be able to help them, instead _this_ \- and she thinks of the team up in the living world, waiting and hoping, and her and Tuuri not coming home...

Sigrun's knees buckle and come down hard onto the rocky ground, but she barely feels the pain. 

Tuuri's gone. She's lost. They lost. They _are_ lost. 

"Wait," Kokko commands the swan.


	97. Chapter 97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. Things are busy, I'm busy, but I'll try to resume regular updates for the last couple of days. <3

**~ 97 ~**

"What?" The swan and Sigrun both squawk. The warmth of Kokko's wing comes around Sigrun and lifts her to her feet. "You go find Tuuri. I have to have a talk with the Swan of Tuonela. You see, my dear," Kokko says to her, "she may have overextended her authority." 

So Sigrun goes, listening inside intently for any pull toward Tuuri that might remain, but - nothing. She'll have to search, like before.

Without quite knowing why - comfort, perhaps - Sigrun reaches for Reynir's rune in her pocket. When she unfolds it, it's glowing - and far out on the ice, an answering light.


	98. Chapter 98

**~ 98 ~**

Sigrun hurries. She doesn't have long. Maybe - maybe she'll die as close to Tuuri as she can get. Sleeping together suddenly sounds nice, with strength and breath draining from her like it's blood from a wound. 

But she finds her. 

Sigrun finds her and drops to all fours in the icy water sloshing over the ice sheet. She doesn't have the breath to scream, or strength to smash the ice with only her fists this time. Instead, she presses her lips to Tuuri's from atop the ice, and tries to sort the words swirling through her mind into an apology.


	99. Chapter 99

**~ 99 ~**

Even that fails her, and Sigrun futilely scratches her fingers over the ice. Is the faint meowing she hears a hallucination of her dying mind? It gets louder, and a sunrise light brightens across the water, too - Kokko is coming. 

And - Sigrun squeezes her eyes shut, opens them again - the shining figure approaching in the cat-drawn wagon remains. 

Strength flows back into her limbs. Warmth moves through her muscles. Sparks of pain, twinges like a needle threading into her soul - and Tuuri's. A faint heartbeat shudder. 

Under the ice, Tuuri's eyes fly open. Her fists beat against the surface.


	100. Chapter 100

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter to go after this one!

**~ 100 ~**

As both of them slam against it, the ice cracks, spiderwebs, breaks. Tuuri shoots up, gasping. "I saw them," she manages. "Grandma, mom, dad…" her eyes well with tears. "They said goodbye." She laughs and cries and reaches for Sigrun. "I decided. I'll be with you. Together." 

Sigrun can't make much sense of it yet; she helps pull Tuuri from her grave and into her arms. 

"Okay, I got you, I got you," she says over and over. "I got you." 

Sigrun looks to the figure in the cat-wagon again. Freya. Smiling. Kokko next to her. 

She understands: _Tuuri decided._


	101. Chapter 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are... final chapter. I hope you enjoyed the ride, and I've been appreciating each and every comment, but would definitely love to hear your thoughts on the ending (and everything and anything else) now that it's complete! Thank you so much for sticking with this little story this long! ♥

**~ 101 ~**

Sigrun is too awed to think clearly, pieces still clicking into place. Tuuri saved them, the weasel? She decided - she chose Sigrun? She chose the Norse Gods, before ever coming to Tuonela? And Freya lent her newest charge a hand, re-joined them, and brought Tuuri back?

 _Wow._ Laughter bursts from Sigrun, and her arms tighten around Tuuri. Tuuri giggles in answer. 

"And immunity?" 

"You got yours back," Tuuri confirms. "It was a gift from the gods. My non-immunity was genetics, chance. So now that we're linked for good… yours is mine too." 

"And now?" 

"We go home."

**Author's Note:**

> Many many thanks to [usuallysublimepenguin](https://usuallysublimepenguin.tumblr.com/post/190427733929/vefanyar-asked-for-i-see-you-with-sigrun-and) for letting me use her art for my banner. ♥


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